It was the answer he expected, to some degree. After her talk of marriage like it was only a logical agreement, a contract more than a declaration of love, he had a feeling that Mary's feelings didn't run very deep for Richard. But he didn't say anything. He had no right to, after all, as it was her life and her choice to make, and he had no bearing on that decision. He would be gone in four days and they would never see each other again.
He did lift his eyebrows a little, as he turned his head away and nodded quietly. "Alright."
"What?" she asked, probably pushing the topic. "You don't think there is value in accepting a marriage for anything less than love?" Mary was a practical sort, and while she did believe in love, there were more factors to a marriage than that. She couldn't run off and marry just anyone. She had her reputation and family name to think of. A woman like her was never bound to marry purely for love.
Mary glanced over at one of the rose bushes beside them. "I wish I had that option," she said quietly.
"I don't think there's value in trapping yourself in a miserable and unhappy marriage, not for any reason," he stated plainly, being honest since honesty was what she asked for. "But I am no Lord. I don't have to worry about the same things you do. So what do I know?"
He did mean that. Their lives were drastically different, and he couldn't begin to imagine the pressure Mary was under. He also couldn't say, had he been born under the same circumstances and raised the same way as her, if he wouldn't share in those opinions.
He'd like to think that he would have stayed the same, that he would have stuck to his same beliefs and principles nonetheless.
"I do hope you're happy with him, Mary. I hope you're right— that you do end up loving him."
It was much easier for him to say, not having to deal with the things that she did. And, she felt, being a man. Nobody cared if a man had sex before marriage, but it was ruinous to a woman, especially one of her class. Mary had made unwise decisions, and she hoped that she might be able to scrounge some happiness out of the consequences.
"I want you to be happy too, Steve. If memories of Downton make you happy, then I want you to keep them."
It was more than just a little hypocritical that people even cared about that when it came to women. Because if women couldn't have sex before marriage but men could, then... what was the solution, here? That men only have sex with each other before they marry? Granted, Steve had nothing against that. It just didn't quite suit his tastes.
Society made absolutely no sense when it came to things like that, sometimes. When it came to a lot of things, actually.
"They do," he nodded, looking back to her. "Can I ask... for one other memory to take with me?"
Mary looked back at him, brown eyes meeting his blue ones. She had always thought that men with blue eyes were exceptionally handsome. Maybe it was because her own father had blue eyes.
Slowing down to a halt, Steve turned to face her, hesitating for a moment before he finally took the couple of steps separating them. He took his hands out of his pockets but it took him a moment to get himself to settle them on her arm, a light touch she could easily pull away from.
Actually she could easily pull away from anything he did right then, as it wasn't his intention to force himself on her. He still hoped she wouldn't, though, especially as he tipped his head down and closed his eyes just in time to press his lips to the corner of her mouth in a soft kiss.
Mary froze, a soft gasp coming from her lips as he embraced her. That was not what she had been expecting at all. Her pulse raced in her chest with both excitement and nerves. At least they were alone in a fairly secluded garden.
"Steve..." She whispered his name. Was that why he had been asking about her engagement? They had shared an intimate moment when she had helped bathe him, but Mary did not think that it had gone any deeper than that for him.
He didn't pull her too close, nor did he try for more than a single, featherlight kiss. Her lips and skin were still as warm and soft as he'd expected, and he let his head rest close to hers for a moment, eyes closed as he took a slow, quiet breath.
A happy memory. That was what it was, and what he had asked her. Slowly pulling from her, he opened his eyes again and smiled, putting a respectable amount of distance between them again. "Thank you."
She nodded, entirely unsure of what to make of that and whether further analysis was a good idea or not. If that was what he wanted, there was surely no harm in giving it to him. Mary would probably never see him again after he left.
"One more thing," Mary said as she reached over to the rose bush next to her. It took a few moments of work, but she was able to break one of the stems without pricking herself on a thorn. She reached out and placed the rose in the lapel of his jacket.
Even though the rose would die eventually, Mary hoped that it might remind him of her and of Downton.
Further analysis was what he was hoping to avoid, really. Considering she was going to marry some other man, and Steve was leaving in a few days, this needed no examining. It would be easier on him, and possibly on her too, not to speak another word about it.
He watched her curiously as she went to pick up a rose, though, then he let out a chuckle as she placed it on his jacket. Ducking his head a little, he patted lightly at the flower, tugging it here and there to make sure it wouldn't fall off so easily.
His smile brought one back to her face. She nodded. "It looks perfect." Of course it did. Everything looked good on him.
"Now you look like you're escorting me to a ball," she teased as she slipped her hand back into the crook of his arm. They needed to walk back to the house, as Mary was expecting Richard soon.
He let out a soft laugh, turning back to the house even if he didn't really feel like leaving the peace and privacy of the garden. "Ah... I like balls. They're fun. And I am quite the dancer."
No he wasn't. Well, he managed alright. But mostly he just swayed.
"Are you? How disappointing that we didn't have one then." The ballroom was currently being occupied by many of the patients. She supposed that most of the men staying at the house weren't in much of a mood for celebration anyway.
Steve always seemed to be in a relatively good mood, even though he knew he was going back into a war zone soon enough. Mary liked that about him. It made her wish that they had a bit more time to spend together.
"Suppose it is. But we'll always have the memory of that bath, so there's that," he teased a little, winking at her. He wasn't feeling particularly happy right now, admittedly, but he'd rather face things in a good mood and with a smile on his face. When he could, anyway.
He wouldn't have many reasons to smile soon enough, after all.
She laughed, the sound light and sweet. "I apologize for being so terribly awkward during that. I don't think I would make a very good nurse."
The reason she had gotten through it at all was because it had been him. He had made her feel comfortable and had been a gentleman about the whole thing. If he had been disagreeable or lewd she probably would have given up.
"No, you were fine. If anything I should apologise for being so terribly naked, but it was sort of... necessary." Being a bath and all, he did need to take his clothes off, so.
"You were very thoughtful, Mary. I'm not sure I'd have accepted help from anyone else."
Mary smiled shyly, looking down at her feet. "Well.. don't tell my sister
or she'll ask me to help more often." Steve was the one and only soldier
that she ever planned on helping bathe.
They turned the bend in the path and the house came into sight. A car sat
in the gravel driveway out front, one that Mary recognized as Richard's.
She could see him standing next to it, even from this far off. She sighed
quietly.
"I would never." He did say he'd keep everything that had happened in that bathroom between them, and besides he didn't really fancy the thought of her helping any other soldiers bathe.
Steve followed her gaze at her quiet sigh, spotting the man in the distance. Slowly he pulled from her, putting a decent amount of distance between them, if only because he didn't know if Richard would be the kind of man to give Mary a hard time about walking in the gardens with some soldier.
"I should head back," he said with a glance at her, smiling. He wished the goodbye could be a little more personal, but they couldn't really do much more than nod politely at this point. "Thank you for the company."
Mary didn't really know what Richard would say, as she did not know him
very well yet. Either way, she didn't care. If he had a problem with her
embracing a soldier who was her friend and happened to be leaving for war,
he would just have to deal with it. She stopped in the path and turned to
Steve, closing the distance that he had put between them.
Mary put her hands on his upper arms and leaned in to lightly kiss one of
his cheeks and then the other. "Please take care of yourself, Steve," she
said. "Survive this and go home. Be happy." She wanted nothing more for
him.
Realizing what she was doing, he leaned down and met her halfway, tipping his head a little to press the briefest of kisses to her cheek. He smiled as he pulled away, offering a faint nod to her words.
"You too, Mary. I do hope you'll be happy." And that she had a husband who at least cared and tried to make her happy was all he could ask for her.
Steve knew that looking back would only make things worse, so after a few seconds, he turned to his own path around the house and started walking, not letting his eyes drift to Mary as she made her way to the main entrance. His last few days here would be lonely ones but he'd rather keep to himself, simply avoiding any places where he might cross paths with her.
It would be better that way. For him and her both, honestly.
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He did lift his eyebrows a little, as he turned his head away and nodded quietly. "Alright."
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Mary glanced over at one of the rose bushes beside them. "I wish I had that option," she said quietly.
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He did mean that. Their lives were drastically different, and he couldn't begin to imagine the pressure Mary was under. He also couldn't say, had he been born under the same circumstances and raised the same way as her, if he wouldn't share in those opinions.
He'd like to think that he would have stayed the same, that he would have stuck to his same beliefs and principles nonetheless.
"I do hope you're happy with him, Mary. I hope you're right— that you do end up loving him."
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"I want you to be happy too, Steve. If memories of Downton make you happy, then I want you to keep them."
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Society made absolutely no sense when it came to things like that, sometimes. When it came to a lot of things, actually.
"They do," he nodded, looking back to her. "Can I ask... for one other memory to take with me?"
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"Of course," she replied.
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Actually she could easily pull away from anything he did right then, as it wasn't his intention to force himself on her. He still hoped she wouldn't, though, especially as he tipped his head down and closed his eyes just in time to press his lips to the corner of her mouth in a soft kiss.
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"Steve..." She whispered his name. Was that why he had been asking about her engagement? They had shared an intimate moment when she had helped bathe him, but Mary did not think that it had gone any deeper than that for him.
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A happy memory. That was what it was, and what he had asked her. Slowly pulling from her, he opened his eyes again and smiled, putting a respectable amount of distance between them again. "Thank you."
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"One more thing," Mary said as she reached over to the rose bush next to her. It took a few moments of work, but she was able to break one of the stems without pricking herself on a thorn. She reached out and placed the rose in the lapel of his jacket.
Even though the rose would die eventually, Mary hoped that it might remind him of her and of Downton.
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He watched her curiously as she went to pick up a rose, though, then he let out a chuckle as she placed it on his jacket. Ducking his head a little, he patted lightly at the flower, tugging it here and there to make sure it wouldn't fall off so easily.
"Does it look good on me?"
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"Now you look like you're escorting me to a ball," she teased as she slipped her hand back into the crook of his arm. They needed to walk back to the house, as Mary was expecting Richard soon.
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No he wasn't. Well, he managed alright. But mostly he just swayed.
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Steve always seemed to be in a relatively good mood, even though he knew he was going back into a war zone soon enough. Mary liked that about him. It made her wish that they had a bit more time to spend together.
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He wouldn't have many reasons to smile soon enough, after all.
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The reason she had gotten through it at all was because it had been him. He had made her feel comfortable and had been a gentleman about the whole thing. If he had been disagreeable or lewd she probably would have given up.
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"You were very thoughtful, Mary. I'm not sure I'd have accepted help from anyone else."
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Mary smiled shyly, looking down at her feet. "Well.. don't tell my sister or she'll ask me to help more often." Steve was the one and only soldier that she ever planned on helping bathe.
They turned the bend in the path and the house came into sight. A car sat in the gravel driveway out front, one that Mary recognized as Richard's. She could see him standing next to it, even from this far off. She sighed quietly.
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Steve followed her gaze at her quiet sigh, spotting the man in the distance. Slowly he pulled from her, putting a decent amount of distance between them, if only because he didn't know if Richard would be the kind of man to give Mary a hard time about walking in the gardens with some soldier.
"I should head back," he said with a glance at her, smiling. He wished the goodbye could be a little more personal, but they couldn't really do much more than nod politely at this point. "Thank you for the company."
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Mary didn't really know what Richard would say, as she did not know him very well yet. Either way, she didn't care. If he had a problem with her embracing a soldier who was her friend and happened to be leaving for war, he would just have to deal with it. She stopped in the path and turned to Steve, closing the distance that he had put between them.
Mary put her hands on his upper arms and leaned in to lightly kiss one of his cheeks and then the other. "Please take care of yourself, Steve," she said. "Survive this and go home. Be happy." She wanted nothing more for him.
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"You too, Mary. I do hope you'll be happy." And that she had a husband who at least cared and tried to make her happy was all he could ask for her.
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"I hope so too." She smiled at him and briefly squeezed his hand. "Goodbye, Steve."
Mary turned and walked up the path towards the house, a sadness tugging at her heart. She only turned back once to see if he was still there.
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It would be better that way. For him and her both, honestly.
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